Let’s be honest. Despite our best efforts, the holiday season (especially when shared with young adults) can sometimes end up feeling like an unremarkable series of parties. We email or distribute gift cards on the day like a dealer in Vegas. No one should be shamed for this — who amongst us has not felt the relief of not having to exchange something post-Boxing Day? So many people we love are punishingly tricky to buy for and gift cards absolutely fill a practical need.
But Christmas is also tied into the pressure of getting that unique, personal something that shows how loved the recipient is. Thrifty or expensive we’re all hoping to spark an element of surprise and joy when it’s unwrapped. Whether you’re shopping months ahead or on Christmas Eve, the best gift is always going to require imagination, thoughtfulness and attention to detail.
There are many things to consider when making your shopping list, mental or otherwise. If you’re choosing something for a person you only see once a year for example, keep in mind that interests evolve and children grow up. People who once collected certain things (let’s say, frog figurines) cannot be relied upon to do this for life. A desperate friend drowning in duplicate amphibians and trying to cull her shelves eventually had to send a group email stating something along the lines of: “Love you all, but please — no more frogs!”
Similarly, be aware of brilliant ideas that may present themselves at the mall during that terrible witching hour of right after work, yet before dinner. (This is a truly special time to navigate parking as well!) I once listened in to a conversation between two twenty-something males who were discussing what to get their grandmother for Christmas, as I waited in line.
“Dude, I totally got Nanny’s present covered this year. Let’s get her one of those bougie jerky baskets!”
Nothing wrong with this as a gift concept, of course; but I was left pondering more than a few questions. Was Nanny a youngish charcuterie enthusiast — with an awesome set of teeth for example? Or was this intended for someone on a pureed diet who would pretend to be thrilled (heart breaking!) and thus establish a repeat situation for next year: “I told you, right? Nanny was loving that jerky!”
I think this kind of misguided — but well-intentioned — gift-giving comes under the category of buying something that you yourself hold dear (jerky, in this case) under the assumption that someone else will be equally enamoured. But sadly, when someone says “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” they just might mean it!
This truth was brought home to me one year when I paid a Christmastime visit to a hard-boiled elderly friend. When I arrived to share a Grinchy glass of cheer, I noticed that she had set up a card table with all manner of items piled high. As I stamped the snow off my boots at the door, she explained darkly that these were unwanted Christmas presents that she had received.
“I mean, what do I want with this crap?” she asked, sweeping her hand over a strange cornucopia of items. “I knew you’d be coming over so help yourself to anything you like. Go on! Have a looksee.”
Um … Merry Christmas?
But as I sifted through, I had to admit that these were grim selections, indeed. There was inky-blue bubble bath in a box which had either been recently stepped on (angrily) or re-gifted more than once; dusty white chocolates that looked recently unearthed from an Egyptian tomb; a girth of “novelty” socks with evil elastic that would barely go over someone’s wrist; bottles of talc in funereal scents that the elderly are supposed to enjoy such as “Lily-of-the-Valley”; and worst of all, a long, unfortunate sweater in that special shade that lies between curry powder and cat sick.
Digging further down though, I uncovered a small globe of homemade pear jam flecked with vanilla bean and tied on top, a twist of candied ginger, all held in festive cellophane. There was still a tasteful gold card and ribbon attached. How charming, I thought, till I recognized my own slanting handwriting on the label …
Maybe I should have gone with the jerky.
